kids

so yet another friend is prego. i am so psyched for them... they are a beautiful couple and totally deserve it. i can't help but looking back and realizing that my time has passed. it's not a bad thing or a good thing... just a thing. i knew when sue was diagnosed that babies would not be in the cards for me. i do think i would have enjoyed being a mother tho. hmmm.

sd

thank you

thank you all for the phone calls... i am not going to off myself...

love you!
sd, bd, me

why bother

i feel like i am going crazy. i am experiencing mood swings that are honestly making me question my sanity. i go from being seriously suicidal to laughing with friends. i am at my wits end. i just want to be with sue again.

tomorrow

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you.”- Christoper Robin to Winnie the Pooh

disbelief

my mother-in-law buried the part of Sue's ashes i gave her... i had no idea. she called and told a friend of mine here that she (Sue) was resting next to her grandmother now. who does that?? who buries someone's WIFE and does not tell them???

speechless...

turkey day

mom just surprised me with a ticket to TN for turkey day! I was serioualy sweating what i was going to do... yay Mom!!

Six

six seems to be the magic number this month.

this sunday, nov 1, marks the six year anniversary of sue and i meeting. for those of you there, you know that we started dating immediately and were barely apart until i left for tour. we had our tough times, but we were together through it all.

the following sunday, nov 8, will be the six month anniversary of her death. i am devistated. everything feels so fresh again. i miss her more than words can express. she was half of me. i am incomplete... i do not see that changing.

sd