I just made my first car payment with out Sue's account. Just celebrated my first national holiday with out her. Cleaned out the dresser of stuff I know I will never use again, with out her telling me that I have to keep it.
And, it hit me today... she is never coming home. SHe is not on a vacation, she is not in the hospital, she has moved on. I am happy for her. I know how limited she was in her current body, but it SUCKS being left behind.
I am still not totally over hoping that these tumors are malignant. I know that is the grief talking, it's not what she would want, blah blah. I just don't know if it is humanly possible to get over this pain. Half of my soul is gone.
AND I AM OUT OF CIGS DAMN IT!
SD
3 comments:
I wish I could bring you some cigs, at least!
We love you. Wish we were standing out in an alleyway at intermission. We'd definitely bum you one or seven. ;) xo, A&M
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