Friends

Ok, I am really trying not to be one of those Holy Rollers who talks about nothing but God. I mean... well not that there is anything wrong with that... He is pretty stinkin cool... there is life... but recently one only happens with the other.

I have made some pretty nifty friends through the church. They are real people, not surface Sunday Christians like I grew up with. Being around them has made me realize one thing. They have a joy that I don't and I know why. I am PISSED! I am pissed that God let Sue get Kufs, I am pisssed that I had to see the love of my life in flames, I am pissed that I have directly ended two lives in three years, I AM PISSED. There I said it. I want to scream obscenities towards the heavens.

I see two clear paths. Surround myself with people who are as pissed as I am and "show Him." Seems futile. Or, surround myself with people who have this joy and work through my anger. I have chosen the latter. Since actively making that choice I have developed friendships with these nifty folks.

Now, here is the tough one... I do want to get married again. I know that now. Not that I want to get married NOW... but well you know what I mean. I am open to meeting someone in the future. AND, I am not completely opposed to that person being male. Ok... I will wait while you re-read that sentence.

So I am now a pissed, bi-curious (in reverse), Christian with nifty new friends. Ta-da!